I’ve Got My Pearls to Keep Me Warm

6 Nov

We’ve got a HUGE problem – even bigger than my impending blindness from all of the “political” statuses on Facebook. It’s cold in Washington, DC.

No, not ‘cold’ like “I should probably wear a cardigan over my Lilly Pulitzer sundress in the evenings” cold. I HAVEN’T WORN A SUNDRESS SINCE LABOR DAY (This is an occurrence that my dearest friend from San Francisco and I mourn annually.)

I’m pretty sure no country music artist has ever written a song about how sexy a girl looks in a sweater and fleece-lined leggings, topped off with long-johns, gloves and 2-3 pairs of socks. (Sorry, Jake Owen, but if I attempted to have a “Barefoot Blue Jean Night” right now, it’d end up as a “No Foot/Frostbite Night”. ) I’m fairly positive that, if I didn’t have class, I wouldn’t leave my room from November to March – I’d just Amazon.com a treadmill in here and take up knitting as a full-time hobby.

Unfortunately, as an inherently social creature, and with that whole “I guess I have to graduate soon” thing, I have to get leave my protective space heater to go outside. Apparently, people live in colder places than this. I question whether they’re actually people, or Santa’s elves, or maybe Yetis in disguise.

Thank goodness I’ve been preparing for “hibernating” with baked goods in excess for the past month. If I’m really lucky, I’ll have shivered it all off by spring break.

One really positive thing about the “Northerners”/Yetis/elves/Bostonians is that they’ve been enduring this weather for much longer than I have, which means they’ve come up with several quick-fixes. While I begin my quick descent from looking like a BWAPE to being confused with Ralphie from A Christmas Story, at least I can drink THIS:

-6 oz. hot apple cider

-1 oz. tequila

-1 oz butterscotch schnapps

-whipped cream (garnish/insulation)

(It’s really delicious. Best with French onion soup and a good snuggle, even from the coldest of “bros”.)

Or, you know, a hot toddy.

If someone could bring me an extra pair of socks, that’d be great, too.


(This is about how I feel every time I have to get of bed in the morning in this weather. Do those come in adult sizes?)

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